Age Discrimination - Are You A Dented Can?

By John Seraichyk

Are you in shape? Do you have a firm handshake? How’s your smile? How’s your energy level? If all of the above are in check, forget about your age! Companies do not discriminate against age; they discriminate against “Dented Cans”.

What Is a Dented Can?

Next time you go to Stop & Shop, remove a can of veggies from the shelf and drop it on the floor. Be sure to put a big old visible dent right in the center of that sucker. Come back two weeks later and I promise you that can will still be there; nobody wants a Dented Can!

Your time on earth has nothing to do with getting your next job. People are all about perception; nobody cares when you were born. In 2009 a 1957 Chevy in showroom-condition is worth 10 times its original value; however, if it’s an old rust bucket or a “Dented Can”, nobody wants it!


Ten things you must do to avoid the dented can syndrome

1. Remove anything you did more than 20 years ago from your resume or list it under an early work history heading (no dates)
2. Exercise, healthy diet, exercise, healthy diet. If you think you need to lose 20lbs; lose 30!
3. Remove facial hair(has anybody ever told you they weren’t hired because they didn’t have a beard)?, cut your finger nails, cut your hair, whiten your teeth and straighten your posture
4. Smile; even twenty something’s have wrinkles when they smile (smile)!
5. Arrive at every interview at least one hour early. Remain in your car as you subliminally acclimate to your surroundings; like an actor waiting back stage, see and feel the performance. Enter the building 20 minutes early; acclimatize to the inner environment, use the rest room, have a final look in the mirror to be sure your product is gleaming!
6. Make a list of your quantifiable success and executive accomplishments. Read it often, memorize it, recite it backwards and forwards..These accomplishments are your youthful inner self energy
7. Don’t dye you hair and for Pete’s sake, don’t wear a damn rug on your head!
8. Buy 5 new suits & see #9
9. Knee high socks same color as your pants, white shirt with cuffs that are exactly one half inch longer than jacket cuffs with your arms extended, don’t forget to button the little button between your cuff and elbow(every button must be buttoned), solid tie same color as suite (navy blue) or charcoal suite, be sure to mold your tie knot so it is crisp(silk or semi -silk ties good for this) , no rings (if you haven’t thrown the college ring away, do so now!), easy on the cologne(or none), black shoes when wearing navy or charcoal(perfectly polished)….Ladies, I think you Gals have it figured out! Sorry guys…
10. And as always; please stop sending your resume and do not under any circumstance, post it on the Internet! Sorry, I had to say it!